Four years ago, Ray Graham, a carpenter, was just like you: a soccer parent looking to get involved. His kids—David, 16, Langston, 11, and Joaquin, 8—began playing soccer, and Ray heard the same call for volunteers that each of you will hear.

"I had always wanted to be a referee and when they said they needed volunteers, that gave me the incentive to do it." Ray took a Grade 9 referee course, the entry level in reffing. Now, four years later, Ray is licensed to referee every soccer game in California, including high school and college. He is the workhorse referee for Montclair Soccer; he reffed 31 games last year, averaging three games on Saturday and three on Sunday. And he doesn't take a penny for it. "I do it for the enjoyment and the contribution to the kids. I don‘t know of a better way to work with youth and stay in shape." In spite of his heavy reffing schedule, Ray still managed to see all of his son's games last fall. He scheduled his reffing for the games immediately before his son's game, so he could ref, then watch his son play.

When asked what refs want parents and coaches to know about the game, he said, "I would like it if the parents and coaches read the rules book. It's not long. It would help people understand what the refs are looking for and what they see." The offsides call is often misunderstood. "A player can be in an offside position," Ray said, "but if not active in the play, it is not an offside call. The player has to participate to make it offsides. Everyone should see the video ‘Soccer: The Offside Rules’ because it explains offsides very simply.”

Ray has had many memorable games, particularly, “the games when teams are far down and come back to win it. Those are fun.” But he also has had difficult games and decisions.

Ray once reffed a game that was 0-0 in the last minutes. His young assistant, who hadn’t made a call in the game, signaled a foul in the box, which would mean a penalty kick. “There was slight contact in the penalty area,” he said. “I blew the whistle and asked him if he was certain. He was, so I gave the penalty kick, and that team ended up winning 1-0. In retrospect, I should probably have waved it off. If it’s in the penalty area, it has to be indisputable. It was a learning experience. The only way to lear is from mistakes."

Ray recommends becoming a ref as a way to fill your volunteer requirements. "We always need referees," he said, "particularly at the lower levels. To make sure U10 kids continue in the sport, they need good officiating."